FOUR  QUIPS

 

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know

what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean,

you know what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said

his father. "So, son, what does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy. It

stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"

 

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a

long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many

cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant

motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry

about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to

get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean.

It's the same in my business."

 

There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his

congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have

enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's

still out there in your pockets."

 

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he

was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a

note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10

times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR

TRESPASSES." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer

along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't

give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."